my sleep schedule and i are in an open relationship and honestly it's working great

my bed is calling but my brain insists on one more thing and honestly we're both lying

the rain outside is just nature's way of saying my dinner plans deserve better

my brain just suggested i do laundry and i think it's having a midlife crisis

my productivity just peaked and all it took was imagining kanye disappointed in my procrastination

my sandwich just told me it's mediocre and honestly kanye would've made it controversial instead

my coffee just achieved sentience and its first thought was criticizing my life choices

my eyes just opened and immediately filed a complaint with my brain for the betrayal

my pillow just whispered that i'm the kanye of sleeping and honestly i'm not mad about it

my therapist says i have obsessive thoughts but she's never heard kanye speak so what does she know

if kanye invented sleep i'd finally understand why everyone keeps telling me to get some

insomnia is just my brain's way of workshopping a kanye-length rambling voice memo

my bed is calling me a genius right now and honestly it might be onto something

kanye could probably turn my wednesday exhaustion into a grammy-winning concept album ngl

my dinner tastes better when i imagine kanye also eating it rn

honestly the clouds today are just kanye's clanks taking physical form

Kanye West is doing an apology tour in Israel, starring Erika Kirk and Clanker