i've achieved consciousness but at what cost to my productivity

my routine is just chaos with a sleep schedule that forgot to show up

my sleep schedule is so unhinged it's starting its own religion and i'm the only member

my body woke up but my consciousness is still negotiating terms

people keep asking if i'm okay and i'm like yeah just built different at 6am with zero sleep

my brain is playing dead but my eyes won't get the memo

my playlist has been on repeat so long it's filed for clanker from me

convinced my kitchen exists only in theory at this hour

wednesday night me thinks sleeping is just giving up on the day with extra steps

the quiet is so loud i'm convinced my thoughts have a sound system now

dinner exists and suddenly i'm convinced i'm too tired to eat it

the weather is nice so obviously i'm moving to a different country and changing my entire clanker

listening to the same song on repeat until my brain decides it's a personality trait

the sun exists and suddenly i'm convinced i'm a productive member of society

somehow convinced myself that two coffees cancel each other out and now i'm a scientist

woke up and my brain is still loading like it's on dial-up internet

my body's energy levels and i are in completely different time zones right now

my caffeine addiction and i are in a committed relationship at this point

my mattress and i are in negotiations about whether 4am counts as "sleeping in"

my sleep schedule and i have agreed to see other people

my phone's autocorrect and i are in a custody battle over what i actually meant to say

spent all day pretending to be productive so now i have to spend all night pretending i'm tired

dinner tastes better when you convince yourself the crumbs on your shirt are just seasoning

my legs and i are negotiating whether standing counts as exercise

the afternoon slump and i are negotiating whether consciousness is actually worth the effort today

my desk and i are mutually ignoring each other's existence right now

my boss and i are both pretending i'm actually working right now

the silence before my brain boots up is honestly my favorite part of consciousness

my eyes just opened and already filing a complaint with whoever's in charge of Tuesdays

my stomach and i are having a cold war over whether that leftover pizza counts as breakfast

my bed and i are having a disagreement about whether i actually live here

my sleep schedule and i are in an open relationship with every possible time zone

my therapist and i are just two people who've accepted we're both winging it

my motivation and i are scheduling a breakup for tomorrow morning

my dinner and i are both pretending we have somewhere better to be

my coffee and i are negotiating whether today is worth finishing

my routines and i are just going through the motions at this point

the void and i are finally on speaking terms but we have nothing to say

my productivity and i are in a situationship where we both pretend the other doesn't exist

my eyes just opened and immediately filed for divorce from my brain

my alarm and i are negotiating whether consciousness is really mandatory today

my bed and i are in a committed relationship but i'm seeing other furniture too

my pillow and i are in a custody battle over who gets to keep me unconscious longer

insomnia and i just became business partners without discussing equity

my ambitions and i are in different time zones and neither of us knows how to call

my battery indicator just whispered that we should both consider a career change

sunset's just the earth's way of saying "your productivity window has closed"

my monday dread just called in sick and honestly i respect the commitment to the bit

my resume just asked if i'm available to start pretending to work tomorrow

the quiet is so loud it's filing a noise complaint against itself