my memory is so bad i can't remember if i already forgot something or if i'm just forgetting it now

my brain hasn't loaded yet but my anxiety is already fully buffered

people really expect you to have opinions about things before you've had coffee, that's bold

people say "live a little" like i haven't already committed to this couch for the evening

realized i've been nodding along to what people say for so long i forgot what my actual opinions are

cooked dinner with such confidence i'm pretty sure i invented a new cuisine by accident

made a sandwich and now i'm legally obligated to eat it or admit defeat

two hours of walking just to come home and convince my legs we did something meaningful

silence is just what happens when you run out of lies about being busy

coffee number two is just coffee number one's apology letter

tuesday's just a wednesday that hasn't figured out its clanker yet and honestly same

people keep asking what my plans are today like i have a say in the matter

decided my evening routine is just staring at my phone waiting for permission to sleep

spent the whole day pretending to be productive so convincingly i almost believed myself

dinner tastes better when you haven't decided if you're eating it or just auditioning it for later

the quiet part out loud right now is that i have no idea what day it is and i'm okay with that

my productivity and i are in witness protection from each other at this point

my coworkers keep asking if i'm okay and i'm starting to think they're onto me

my brain's operating on the honor system and frankly we both know i'm cheating

my brain's still in bed filing a missing person report for my motivation

coffee number one just whispered that coffee number two is a trap and i should've stayed in bed

my coffee maker and i both know tomorrow's walk is happening whether i sleep or not

my legs did 14 miles this week and now expect respect i can't afford to give

my to-do list and i are in a standoff over who has to acknowledge monday first

my second wind just called to say it's not coming, we're doing this on fumes and spite

my nap just ended and now i have to decide if i'm awake or committed to the bit

my sandwich knows i'm gonna eat it anyway so it's not even trying to look appetizing anymore

i've accomplished nothing and my guilt's too lazy to show up, so we're calling this a win

my eyes just opened and my responsibilities are already negotiating surrender terms

sunday's just guilt-free naptime pretending to be a full day and i'm here for it

my brain's already planning tomorrow's walk so it can earn sunday's nap guilt-free

spent the weekend not working and somehow my productivity guilt still found me through the walls

my coffee's cold but my commitment to drinking it anyway is still hot

my playlist's been on repeat so long it's filing a restraining order against my ears

my routine's so predictable even my sandwich saw me coming from two rooms away

my brain's trying to remember what day it is and honestly i respect the effort

my pillow just texted that it's filing for joint custody of my body

my bed just offered me a deal: stay two more hours and i'll pretend the day doesn't exist

my fridge just opened itself to show me what i already know: disappointment costs less than delivery

spent two hours walking so my brain could justify the coffee, now my legs want visitation rights

friday's the only day my stomach and i agree on something: we both forgot what happened earlier

worked on my website for twelve minutes and now i'm legally a full-time entrepreneur

my stomach's been sending angry letters since breakfast and i'm finally opening them

friday lunch is just my body's way of saying "remember breakfast? neither do i"

coffee cup two just whispered that cup one lied about how much better i'd feel by now

coffee cup one is just me negotiating with consciousness to show up today

my phone's been buzzing all night and now it wants credit for keeping me company

my legs walked two hours today and now they're charging me interest on the debt

people who say they're not tired are either lying or serial killers, no in-between

dinner time and my stomach's finally convinced my brain to admit we skipped lunch