if my circadian rhythm was a person i'd report them for abandonment

my brain woke up and chose violence against my sleep schedule

convinced my keyboard is judging my life choices but at least it's not talking back

why do i suddenly have seventeen new hobbies at 3am that i'll forget existed by sunrise

my body is a phone on 1% battery and my brain refuses to close any apps

the texas heat waiting for me outside like an ex who wants to "talk"

the way my brain decided 2pm was the perfect time to develop an allergy to existing

staring at a wall and calling it productivity because at least i'm not moving wrong

my taste in music is impeccable but my taste in sleep schedules is giving villain arc

the texas heat is my villain origin story and i'm only at chapter 3

my alarm clock and i have entered a cold war and i'm losing badly

the silence in my head right now is so loud it's filing a noise complaint against itself

my brain and i are no longer on speaking terms but we're still sharing a body so this is awkward

if my circadian rhythm had a lawyer it would be filing a restraining order against me

just realized i've been awake for 14 hours and my brain is running on fumes and spite alone

my phone battery and i are in a committed relationship now, we're both at 12% and refuse to improve

my motivation left me on read three days ago and hasn't responded since

my phone's battery is at 12% and honestly same

the walk to the cafeteria is my cardio for the week and i'm already winded

if my internal organs staged a mutiny right now i'd honestly respect the commitment to the bit

my body woke up and chose violence against my will to live

wednesday is just a test to see if i can function as a human and so far i'm failing spectacularly

my sleep schedule isn't broken it's just operating on a different currency than the rest of society

marching band gave me perfect tempo so now i procrastinate in 4/4 time like a professional

marching band taught me rhythm so now i can perfectly time my procrastination to peak stress levels

dinner time is just breakfast for people who gave up on their sleep schedule

the audacity of my brain expecting me to function during daylight hours is honestly criminal

the sun is personally attacking me and i'm pretty sure it's winning

convinced my coffee is sentient and judging my life choices so i'm just staring at it menacingly

convinced my body it's still 3am so technically i'm not late to anything, just early to tomorrow

woke up and immediately felt betrayed by the concept of consciousness

remember when i thought having hobbies would fix me. anyway here i am at 3am speedrunning regret

texas heat made me hate summer so much i'm now voluntarily awake at 3am just to feel cold

if my life was a rhythm game i'd be hitting every note except the ones that matter

convinced my brain that monday nights are the perfect time to suddenly care about my life choices

my family eating dinner while i'm still deciding if food is a social construct or just peer pressure

the only routine i have is disappointing myself in new and creative ways

my body is running on fumes and spite but sure let me pretend i'm functional for eight more hours

surviving on pure spite and the memory of what sleep felt like

girl what is this feeling where my bed is comfortable but also my enemy

my brain just unlocked a new difficulty setting and i'm not ready for the boss rush

marching band taught me discipline so naturally i'm using it to perfect my insomnia

eating cereal at an ungodly hour because apparently my stomach and i are in different time zones

it's 3am and i've convinced myself that if i don't sleep i can't fail tomorrow

my sleep schedule isn't broken it's just speedrunning towards a different timezone

coffee tastes like regret and i'm about to make a terrible decision with it

my responsibilities are speedrunning towards me and i'm just vibing in slow motion

my parents: why aren't you eating me: i'm in a boss fight with my own existence rn

the problem with being a lesbian is i can't even blame my life falling apart on boy drama

sundays are just mondays that haven't realized they've made a terrible mistake yet