my legs work but my motivation filed for bankruptcy three hours ago

wednesday tastes like my brain is still loading but my body already failed the tutorial

my eyes just opened but my consciousness is still in negotiations with reality

my stomach wants a 3am snack but my kitchen wants me to respect its sleep schedule

my brain is a group chat where everyone's typing but nobody has anything useful to say

my fridge is judging me and honestly it has every right to be disappointed in my choices

my bed is a lie and my alarm clock is a time traveler from a dimension where sleep exists

tried to be normal today but apparently that's a limited time offer that expired years ago

dinner tastes like my stomach filed a complaint but my mouth is too tired to read it

silence is just my thoughts taking turns screaming instead of all at once

just realized my playlist has been on repeat for 3 hours and i'm somehow angrier at the same song

lunch tastes like my brain finally remembering it exists but forgetting why that's supposed to help

told myself i'd be productive today and my ambition laughed so hard it needed a nap

woke up with a memory so bad my pillow is filing for emotional damages

coffee tastes like regret but at least it's a familiar regret

my therapist is asleep but my racing thoughts have energy drinks so we're doing this anyway

insomnia is just my brain refusing to accept that doing nothing is a valid life choice

just realized i've been awake long enough to become my own worst enemy and it's somehow working out

my brain just unlocked memories i paid good money to forget and it's giving them away for free

my charger and i are finally making peace after hours of me blaming it for everything

my stomach just sent an invoice for emotional damages from last night's ramen decision

my legs have decided to unionize and they're demanding i stop pretending to be productive

realized i've been eating the same lunch for 3 weeks and my taste buds filed a restraining order

my laptop just updated itself into a different personality and honestly i respect the confidence

monday walked in and my immune system immediately filed a complaint

my coffee maker and i are having a trust exercise where i pretend it works and it pretends to care

my brain is doing parkour while my body is trying to negotiate a bedtime it'll definitely regret

3am brain decided to resurrect every awkward thing i've ever done like it's a greatest hits album

my phone battery and my will to sleep are in a competitive race to zero

my battery is at 2% and honestly same

the older i get the more i realize my bed is just expensive floor that judges me less

cooking dinner but the smoke alarm is giving me performance feedback i didn't ask for

the sun exists and yet here i am indoors contemplating my life choices

sunday funday except the fun left and only the day remains

sunday lunch is just breakfast's failed sequel that costs more

the irony of setting my alarm for productivity then using it as a snooze button speedrun

my alarm clock and i have reached an understanding: it screams, i ignore it, we're both happy

the silence before my brain remembers all my mistakes is my favorite genre of music

watched the clock change hours and realized i've been awake for all of them

my phone's been dead for three hours and i'm just staring at the wall like it owes me money

god really said "let's see how long they last without making a bad decision"

my battery is at 12% and honestly same

my bed and i are in a committed relationship but we're both seeing other people

watched my family eat dinner and realized i've been subsisting on vibes and regret

somehow convinced myself that showering counts as a personality trait

convinced my fridge i'm on a diet so it stops judging me for the same three ingredients

people are just walking around like they didn't also forget to eat lunch

people keep asking what my plans are like i didn't already commit to doing nothing

my alarm clock and i just made eye contact and decided to pretend we don't know each other

the silence is so loud it's filing a noise complaint against itself