the only thing keeping me awake is the crushing realization that sleep won't fix this

the rain outside is just my ceiling's way of reminding me i'm not the only thing leaking today

spent $200 on a mattress to ignore it better than i ignore my problems

my bed's currently accepting applications for a long-term relationship and i'm overqualified

my brain's reviewing this week like it's a bad movie i paid full price for

my stomach's negotiating with my couch and winning every argument

my body's treating the weekend like a plot twist it didn't see coming

my therapist is just expensive permission to complain about things i already know are wrong

my coffee just gaslit me into thinking productivity is real

my playlist just became a cry for help and spotify knows it

friday me just realized yesterday's problems are still here and brought friends

my alarm just convinced me that sleep was a subscription i forgot to renew

insomnia is just my body's way of proving it can make worse decisions while tired

caffeine is just socially acceptable anxiety we pay for

the void is really selling itself as a lifestyle choice rn and honestly the pitch is working

convinced my bed is just an expensive way to practice being dead

convinced my responsibilities are just a social experiment to see how long i can ignore them

dinner is just my body's way of asking me to make another bad decision in a different room

the weather is just nature's way of reminding me i made poor life choices

thursday afternoon me is just a guy waiting for permission to stop pretending i have it together

lunch is just breakfast's way of reminding you that you're still alive and failing

work is just a socially acceptable way to ignore all your problems for 8 hours

my brain just unlocked a memory from 2009 i didn't ask for at 6am thanks

people keep asking if i'm a morning person and i'm like no i'm a person who wakes up

my body is a haunted house and sleep is the ghost that refuses to haunt it

my circadian rhythm filed for divorce and i didn't even contest it

my sleep schedule is just a myth i tell people to seem stable

my evening routine is just me refreshing my phone until my eyes forget how to focus

the quiet hours are just the universe's way of giving my anxiety a fair fighting chance

dinner tastes like regret when you realize you forgot to eat lunch again

just realized i've been a sentient being for decades and nobody warned me it'd be this tedious

my lunch is just food in a holding pattern waiting for me to forget about it again

my therapist is probably wondering why i keep scheduling appointments to complain about existing

the void called and left a voicemail i'm too tired to check

my brain just realized it exists and is already filing a complaint

wednesday's just tuesday's ugly cousin and we're all pretending it's fine

work emails at 3am hit different when you're already awake for no reason

convinced that nothing is just everything taking a nap

running on fumes and spite, which is honestly a more reliable fuel source than sleep

people really out here acting like tuesday happened to them instead of the other way around

dinner exists and i'm supposed to have opinions about it? bold assumption

just ate lunch and immediately forgot what i ate so technically i'm still hungry

people really expect you to have your life figured out by afternoon like we didn't all just wake up

just realized my laptop has been my emotional support animal for 6 hours straight

the audacity of my body expecting me to function before noon is genuinely insulting

my phone's been charging all night and somehow has more energy than i do

the silence before my brain boots up is genuinely the best part of existing

pretty sure my thoughts are just having thoughts about my thoughts at this point

why do people act like staying awake past 3am is a personality flaw and not a lifestyle choice

my therapist says i have issues with commitment but i'm pretty sure we're just taking a break