my bed is a lie i tell myself at 3am and we both know i'm not falling for it again

my brain's playing songs it hasn't discovered yet and i'm supposed to just vibe with the spoilers

my brain just asked if music counts as a personality and now i can't unhear that question

people keep asking what i'm having for dinner like i didn't already forget i have a mouth

the weather's nice but my brain ordered delivery from a dimension where nothing makes sense

tuesday afternoon brain just decided i'm a sandwich that forgot how to be eaten

ironic that i'm starving while holding a sandwich like it's a jury summons i didn't ask for

my playlist is just me hitting shuffle and hoping the algorithm knows me better than i know myself

my coffee is doing the heavy lifting while i pretend to be a functional human being

the silence right now is so loud i'm pretty sure it's filing a noise complaint against my thoughts

pretty sure i've forgotten how to sleep and my brain is just running blooper reels now

the difference between me and a haunted house is that the haunted house knows what's going on

insomnia speedrun: how many existential crises can i have before sunrise

my soul left at 5pm and sent a postcard from cancun

just spent 20 minutes looking for my headphones while wearing them

people keep asking if i'm okay and honestly i don't have the data to answer that

my memory is so bad i forgot what i was complaining about halfway through complaining

monday afternoon brain has officially filed for divorce from my body and i'm not fighting it

my phone autocorrected my grocery list and now i'm committed to buying "emotional support cheese"

just realized i've been walking in circles for 20 minutes convinced i was going somewhere productive

my alarm went off and i negotiated with it like we were in a hostage situation

my brain is still loading and i've already made three bad decisions

convinced my brain is just a browser with 47 tabs open and three of them are frozen

convinced my sleep schedule is just experimental art at this point

setting my alarm for tomorrow like it's a suggestion and not a legally binding contract i'll ignore

i've successfully convinced myself that staying up late counts as self-care

watching my productivity die in real time and honestly the entertainment value makes it worth it

cooking dinner like i'm not about to undo it all with midnight snacks in 4 hours

spotify wrapped me in psychological warfare and i haven't recovered

eating lunch like it's not already ruined my plans to be productive later

the clock isn't moving, i'm just experiencing time in slow motion while fully clothed

the screaming in my head is so loud i can barely hear myself not texting my ex

my weekly habit of pretending sunday is a fresh start while still wearing yesterday's clothes

my brain waking up like "remember all those things you didn't do yesterday? let's worry about those"

my monday morning self is already filing a complaint about my sunday night self's life choices

my phone's brightness is at 100% and my will to live is at 0%, really balanced out

somehow convinced myself that staying up late counts as having a personality

people keep asking what my weekend plans are like i have friends or something

just realized i've been holding my phone for 20 minutes with no plan whatsoever

made dinner plans with myself and i'm already flaking on me

convinced my bed is actively mocking me for leaving it this morning

the silence after i decide not to text someone back is honestly louder than any music i own

my phone's been buzzing all morning and i'm pretty sure it's just disappointed in me too

why does my shower playlist hit different when i'm actively avoiding responsibilities

the irony of my alarm going off right when i finally stopped dreading existence

woke up and immediately checked my phone like it might have good news for once

my boss emails me at 3am so i'm replying to his 2018 messages out of spite

currently deciding if staying up is a personality trait or just a cry for help

my body's at a rave but my brain checked out three days ago and forgot to leave a note

spotify's algorithm knows i'm a mess and is just playing sad songs to validate my life choices