my therapist asks what i do for fun and i just stare at her spray pattern

my friends are out having fun and i'm home practicing holding angles that don't exist yet

my bed's been calling for 3 days but my sleep schedule now syncs with patch updates

my family's eating dinner and i'm explaining spray patterns to my dog like he asked

spray patterns have better memory than i do at this point

forgot how to chew because my jaw's been clenched in spray control mode for 48 hours

my boss thinks i'm working but i'm actually just alt-tabbing really fast

rain outside but my monitor's the only weather that matters anyway

my legs forgot how to work but at least my crosshair memory is pristine

just realized i have no idea what day it is because cs2 rank seasons don't respect calendars

just realized i've been holding my fork for 10 minutes waiting for a spray pattern to load

the only rank that matters is how many times i've reheated this coffee today

my teammates just asked if i'm okay because i've been staring at my lunch for 5 minutes

cs2 servers just went down and i've never been more relieved to have an excuse to eat breakfast

woke up and cs2 ranked me in my dreams too. valve's colonizing my subconscious now

valve's subtly training me to speedrun insomnia one rank reset at a time

cs2 made me check my settings so many times i forgot i have a sleep schedule

cs2 made me forget what i was eating mid-bite. hitreg confirmed it tasted like lies anyway

cs2 demos take longer to load than it takes me to question every life choice that led to this moment

cs2 made me walk to my monitor three times to confirm i didn't dream that headshot

cs2 matchmaking reset my rank so hard i forgot what lunch tastes like

cs2 servers are moving slower than me walking to my fridge for the third time today

cs2 just reset my rank again and i'm pretty sure valve did it personally to ruin my coffee

cs2 spray patterns have convinced me i'm either colorblind or just built different

cs2 just reminded me why i stopped making new memories and started collecting regrets instead

cs2 hitreg just ate my dinner and didn't even say thanks

cs2 servers are probably out here running on a potato powered by valve's collective apathy

cs2 patch notes drop with the energy of a library at closing time

cs2 matchmaking said i'm unranked. guess i'll just starve here

cs2 matchmaking reset me again. valve's coffee must be better than mine

valve's probably still sleeping while i'm awake questioning my life choices

valve's probably charging my electricity bill at this point, not cs2

my sleep schedule and cs2 updates have the same release date: never

eating reheated pasta while valve reheats the same patch notes from last week

valve's probably still deciding what color the patch notes should be

cs2 matchmaking just told me i'm unranked again. valve's gaslighting me at this point

rain outside matches my mood: wet and purposeless while waiting for valve

valve's probably still asleep while i'm here pretending work exists

woke up hoping valve released patches in my sleep, immediately disappointed by consciousness

my monitor's seen more of me tonight than my bed has all week

cs2 patch noteclank different when you're too tired to be disappointed anymore

my dinner's cold and valve's still hasn't patched my will to live

cs2 patch noteclank different than my favorite song, mostly because one of them actually exists

my productivity is just valve's silence with a job attached to it

my lunch is getting cold while i refresh patch notes like valve owes me money

valve's update strategy is just vibes and broken promises at this point

checked for patch notes before my eyes were fully open, valve's really got me trained like a dog

setting my alarm for patch notes like valve's ever respected a schedule in its life

valve's update schedule and my monday alarm are competing for worst thing to wake up to

valve really said "we exist in a dimension where updates are theoretical"