my phone is at 8% and i'm too invested in doing nothing to find a charger

cereal is just expensive water if you think about it long enough and now i can't stop

the silence in my house is so loud it's filing a noise complaint against itself

my battery is at 12% and i haven't even left bed yet which feels like a personal record

finally remembered how to blink without it feeling like a clanker

my room is a crime scene and the victim is my will to live but at least the weekend doesn't judge me

the weekend is here and my brain is already planning how to disappoint me

the irony of having 48 hours of freedom but zero mental capacity to enjoy it

forgot what food tastes like so i'm just eating to remember if i like it or hate it

my brain is playing music but it's just the sound of my deadlines screaming in surround sound

if i squint really hard my assignments almost look like they're doing themselves

woke up and immediately remembered i have homework due today so i'm going back to sleep

just realized i've been functioning on muscle memory and spite for like six hours straight

just realized i've been wearing mismatched socks all week and honestly that explains everything

my mom made dinner and suddenly i remember why i was starving but also why i hate cooking

pretty sure i just aged five years in the span of one class period

convinced my lunch is just a theoretical concept at this point

somehow i've convinced myself that finishing this assignment counts as self-care

noticed i have the energy of a phone on 12% battery but the ambitions of one at 100%

my pillow just broke up with me and honestly i deserved it

pretty sure i discovered a new emotion today that's just anger but tired

three days into the week and my motivation called in sick so now we're both unemployed

my body is running on fumes but my stomach thinks it's prime time to start making demands

walked into class late and the teacher looked at me like i owed them money

the irony of spending 4 hours wanting lunch and now that it's here i just want a nap

my brain is still loading and my coffee has already given up on me

my cereal and i just made eye contact and now we're both pretending it didn't happen

my circadian rhythm and i agreed to see other people but we keep running into each other

my homework and i are in a staring contest and neither of us is blinking first

convinced my coffee maker and i are in a toxic relationship but i need them too much to leave

my mom made dinner and i'm pretty sure the chicken is disappointed in me too

the void called and my voicemail is full so now we're both just ghosting each other

convinced my sandwich is judging me for how slowly i'm eating it

my phone has more charge than my will to exist and honestly that's embarrassing for both of us

walked into class and my legs immediately filed a complaint about the previous 4 minutes

people keep asking if im okay and i think thats code for "you look like youre malfunctioning"

my brain is running on fumes and spite but mostly spite so we're basically unstoppable

my habits aren't bad they're just undocumented features of my personality

my battery icon is red and my dinner is cold but we're both pretending everything's fine

my attention span just filed for divorce and didn't leave a forwarding address

my schedule isn't a routine it's just a series of accidents that keep happening to me

the quiet in this classroom is so loud it's filing a noise complaint against itself

my routine isn't broken it's just on a very long beta test phase

my brain said "we're awake" but didn't file the paperwork so i'm just a person shaped thing rn

the homework i didn't do is still due tomorrow so i'm just gonna manifest a snow day real hard

the sunday scaries are just my stomach rehearsing its monday performance art piece

staring at my plate like it personally wronged me and now we're in a standoff

coffee tastes like regret and broken promises but at least it's warm so we're making it work

convinced my body that digestion counts as a workout so we're calling it even

the irony of waking up early on purpose just to waste more time is not lost on me