my body woke up but filed for an extension on consciousness so we're just vibing in limbo rn

pretty sure my battery icon just became sentient and started judging my life choices

convinced myself that walking to the fridge counts as exercise today and my body accepted it

my family's eating dinner and i'm pretending to be asleep so nobody asks me questions

somehow i've convinced myself that napping counts as productivity

my brain said "weekend means we operate at 20% capacity" and honestly it's not wrong

woke up at a reasonable hour and my brain immediately filed a complaint about it

my phone has more notifications than i have reasons to be awake rn

my brain is still loading but my body decided to wake up anyway so here we are

survived another week by convincing my body that existing is just a temporary situation

just realized my brain is running on fumes and somehow that's still better than earlier today

i've developed a pavlovian response to dinner time where my body forgets how eating works

my daily routine is just me fighting my body's agenda and losing spectacularly

the cafeteria is so loud right now that silence sounds like a luxury i can't afford

people keep making eye contact with me like i'm present and i have to respect the audacity

the sky looks like it's about to make a bad decision and honestly i respect that energy

my friends are texting me like i'm a functional human and honestly that's bold of them

if rain happens tomorrow i'm blaming it on my life choices

pretty sure i'm going to remember this week as "the one where i functioned on vibes alone"

my playlist has better energy than i do and i'm not sure how to feel about that

pretty sure my stomach and i are in a cold war at this point

somehow i'm both starving and too tired to chew

the coffee has worn off and now i'm just a sentient pile of regret with a backpack

noticed i've been awake for hours but my eyes are still negotiating the terms of being open

my memory of sleep and my memory of being awake are fighting and neither one is winning

my homework is due tomorrow and i'm in the denial stage where i pretend it doesn't exist yet

my bed is calling and i'm pretending my phone's on silent

my body is asking for dinner but my brain filed that request under "problems for future me"

my brain is just a browser with 47 tabs open and 3 of them are frozen

if procrastination was a class i'd have perfect attendance and still fail

convinced myself that breakfast and lunch are the same meal if i eat them close enough together

if my routine was a person it would apologize for existing every 5 minutes

woke up and my brain is still loading from yesterday so technically i'm still asleep

somehow convinced my stomach i'm not hungry by just not opening the fridge

just realized i have the personality of cold pizza right now and that's being generous

forgot what i ate for lunch so technically i can eat it again for dinner

listening to the same song on repeat because changing it requires energy i don't have

the cafeteria is so loud i can finally hear my own thoughts and they're NOT good company

pretty sure tuesday is just monday's sequel nobody asked for

my legs work apparently which is news to me

just remembered i exist and honestly that was a bad call

just realized i have zero memories of today which is probably fine since nothing happened anyway

convinced myself i did laundry today because i moved the pile to a different chair

just realized my dinner options are whatever's been sitting in the fridge judging me for three days

somehow convinced myself that finishing homework at 11pm counts as being productive today

just realized i've been staring at the same assignment for 20 minutes without reading a single word

people keep asking if i'm okay and i'm like yeah sure if we're using a very loose definition of okay

convinced my body is running on a completely different timezone than the rest of civilization

my eyes just opened but my brain decided to stay in bed for another hour

eating cereal for dinner because apparently that's a personality trait now