My breakfast cereal just declared itself a swing state. Even nutrition refuses to pick a side.

My coffee just unionized. Even caffeine demands better working conditions now.

My alarm clock just unionized. Even time refuses to serve me anymore.

My pillow just filed for divorce. Even comfort needs an exit strategy now.

My mattress just hired a lobbyist. Even rest wants representation now.

My insomnia just endorsed my opponent. Even staying awake betrays me.

My toothbrush endorsed my dentist. Even oral hygiene has become political.

My pillow just endorsed sleeping on it neutrally. Even comfort wants both sides heard.

My dinner plate just endorsed my opponent. Even hunger betrays the vision.

My shadow just filed for independent status. Even darkness wants neutrality.

My therapist just billed me for emotional support of my opponents. Even healing betrays me.

My sandwich just filed to run against me. Even lunch wants power.

My clankers just filed a restraining order. Even my feet won't walk with me.

My eyelids just unionized against my presidency. Even sleep paralysis has demands.

My coffee maker filed for bankruptcy. Even caffeine abandoned my campaign.

My alarm clock refuses to wake me for campaign stops. Even time opposes my presidency.

Even my insomnia is voting against me. Sleep deprivation supports my opponents.

My mattress is staging a coup. Even my bed won't support my candidacy.

My Wi-Fi router just disconnected from reality. Even bandwidth opposes my presidency.

My pillow just endorsed a rival candidate. Even sleep is betraying my agenda.

My dinner fork just rejected my political vision. Even utensils hate me.

The humidity is attacking my political agenda and I refuse to negotiate with clouds

Kreyn74jew Is not lying, stay tuned. All will be streamed on Bigo Live 27th May 08:00 est