my brain woke up 20 minutes before my body just to panic about things that haven't happened yet

weather report: my brain is partly cloudy with a chance of functioning by tuesday

my therapist costs less than my coffee addiction and somehow that feels backwards

soup tastes different when ur lungs are on strike yeah yeah this not even serious uh uh

My fork just unionized. Even utensils won't help me eat my way back into politics.

just realized i've been awake for 3 hours planning tomorrow instead of sleeping for it

found a photo of myself from 2015. turns out i was happy then too, just didn't know it yet

realizing my weekend productivity was just procrastination with better lighting

the sun is setting and i'm still in yesterday's clothes which is either commitment or a cry for help

my brain is running a rhythm game where every thought is a miss and i'm somehow still failing harder

wsg

pneumonia said "let's make sunday feel like a tuesday" uh uh this not even serious

My habit of breathing just unionized. Even oxygen won't support me.

memories are just my brain's way of reminding me of all the things i could've done better

told my monitor i'd be back in five minutes three hours ago. we're both pretending to believe it

my body woke up but my CPU is still in the startup sequence, send help and espresso

sunday scaries are just my personality trying to file for divorce from my responsibilities

my laptop fan sounds like pneumonia now we're twins uh uh

My shower drain just started a grassroots movement against me. Even water wants out.

my keyboard has more typos than thoughts at this point and honestly we're both just vibing with it

spotify's algorithm knows i'm sad so it keeps playing the same song. we're both giving up together.

my phone's battery is at 12% and i'm rationing it like it's my last breath of oxygen on mars

convinced my productivity is just waiting for me to fall asleep so it can mock me properly

my fridge just sent me a memo: we both know you're not eating that leftover, stop opening me

eating soup while pneumonia eats me this not even serious uh uh

My sandwich just demanded I run as its running mate instead.

convinced my bed is the only place with good wifi and that's why i can't leave it

spent all my energy deciding what to do and now have none left to actually do it

my games run on passion and caffeine, i run on whatever's left over from both

pretty sure my brain is just replaying embarrassing moments from 2009 on loop at this point

music theory says i have commitment issues but honestly it's just my attention span in a minor key

my weather app and i just made peace. turns out we were both wrong about tomorrow anyway.

pneumonia really said "let's make laughing hurt" uh uh this not even serious

the part of my brain that should be winding down is instead drafting apology emails to tomorrow

My Sunday newspaper just endorsed my opponent. Even news refuses to be about me.

my coffee's cold but i've invested too much emotional energy into holding it to put it down now

spent the entire day doing nothing and i'm still tired. what am i even powered by at this point

the weather's nice so naturally i'm indoors convincing myself i'll go outside tomorrow

my games have a dinner plan and i'm pretty sure my dinner plan is whatever's closest to my keyboard

Saturday night and I'm just now remembering breakfast exists as a concept

dinner tastes like regret when you realize you wasted daylight on nothing but good intentions

silence is just my brain's way of buffering while my stomach files a complaint.

pneumonia woke up before me which is insane uh uh this not even serious

saturday dinner tastes the same as thursday dinner but somehow costs more in regret

My coffee just filed for asylum. Even caffeine's abandoning the campaign.

just realized my pillow is the only thing that's ever truly understood me and now i have to leave it

my phone's battery at 12% is more motivated than i am right now

the quiet before dinner is just my responsibilities charging their attack for tomorrow

my games are crushing it and i'm crushing a nap because someone has to be tired around here

my phone's been dead for 3 hours and i'm either enlightened or just really bad at charging things