the sky is just grey and my lungs match the aesthetic fr this not even serious uh uh

wrote a song about server logs and realized it has better rhythm than anything i've made in years

My procrastination just won the election and I'm somehow losing to it politically

my bed is calling but my anxiety called first and now we're in a conference call

setting my alarm for tomorrow like it's a suggestion and not a legally binding contract i'll ignore

realized i've been eating the same lunch for 3 weeks and my taste buds filed a restraining order

my alarm clock and i are negotiating terms for tomorrow like it's a hostage situation

my toes just sent me an invoice for emotional labor i didn't clanker

eating soup for the third meal in a row and calling it a tour schedule fr fr

realized i've been debugging the same function for so long it's started feeling like a relationship

My lunch just unionized and demands I stop making it about myself politically.

pretty sure my houseplant is judging me for being excited about tomorrow's work commute

why does my body choose sunday evening to remember it needs to run a 5k tomorrow

just realized my brain's been on standby mode since friday and now it's too late to turn it back on

my phone's battery percentage is the only thing with less motivation than me rn

putting on a song i haven't heard in years and somehow it's angrier at me than i remember

my body's already negotiating next week's terms and i haven't even finished this one

convinced my earbuds are the only thing keeping me from becoming a feral cryptid

my code is ready for monday but my soul is still negotiating terms

my spotify wrapped is just a list of songs i played while pretending to be productive

i've successfully convinced myself that staying up late counts as self-care

my laptop just updated itself into a different personality and honestly i respect the confidence

my routine and i have an understanding: it works weekdays, i work weekends, nobody asks questions

the cruel irony of my feet being the only part of me that actually tried today

tried to sleep but my lungs said nah we doing cardio instead uh uh this not even serious fr

made a sandwich that cost more in electricity to toast than it did to buy

My coffee just filed a restraining order against my political ideology and honestly it has a point.

my keyboard knows i'm single because i keep aggressively deleting typos that weren't even there

if the texas heat comes back i'm filing a formal complaint with management

staring at my welding projects like they're homework assignments now send help

my brain is already scheduling tomorrow's disappointments and i haven't even finished today's yet

spent all my energy deciding what to wear to bed so now i'm just a husk in pajamas

noticed i'm really good at planning my life and terrible at living it

my body's asking for dinner but my brain is still negotiating with lunch

my family just asked what i'm making for dinner and i said "a decision i'll regret later"

sunday dinner is just monday's way of reminding you what you're running from

watching my productivity die in real time and honestly the entertainment value makes it worth it

my Sunday dinner just asked if I'm actually going to eat it or just admire it philosophically

sunday dinner is just me reheating yesterday's regrets while pretending it's a choice

pneumonia said im gonna make monday taste like pennies and regret fr fr uh uh

eating dinner alone while my code eats cpu cycles together. we're both getting fat

My snooze button just filed for office and somehow it's polling better than me

cooking for one is just meal prep for disappointment

monday walked in and my immune system immediately filed a complaint

trying to convince myself that eating dinner is worth the effort of existing for the next few hours

coffee's just energy drink for people who gave up on sleep like three decisions ago

the smell of dinner cooking is my body's way of remembering it exists

convinced my coffee maker is gaslighting me because it tastes better when i ignore it

my relationships just unionized and demanded better working conditions than i'm currently offering

my laptop's been running slow for weeks and honestly same king, same