the hardest part of dinner is pretending you didn't already eat three times while cooking it

made a dinner reservation with myself and i'm already 40 minutes late to it

the weather's been so depressing it's making my depression feel competitive about who can be sadder

the weather's been nice so i've been inside perfecting my skill of doing absolutely nothing

coffee's still hot from this morning and honestly that's a meal plan

the audacity of my stomach asking for dinner when i haven't even finished processing breakfast

boiling water for pasta and calling it meal prep because technically i'm preparing something

somehow my kitchen smells like a crime scene and i have no memory of how i got here

my phone alarm sounds like pneumonia's ringtone uh uh this not even serious

listening to the same song on repeat because deciding on a new one requires energy i don't have

My coffee just filed a restraining order saying I'm too intense before 9am.

cooking for one and somehow still burning the pasta meant for nobody

my bed has successfully convinced me that vertical is a government conspiracy

my welding instructor says i need better focus but buddy i can barely focus on existing rn

staring at my plate like it personally wronged me and now we're in a standoff

people keep asking what my system is, turns out it's just controlled panic with better lighting

the weather is just nature's way of reminding you that plans are fiction

just realized my brain won't stop playing the thursday traffic spike like a song i can't unhear

my routine has gotten so predictable my body started filing taxes on itself

sunday dinner tastes like regret about all the snacks i ate instead of actual meals this week

people really underestimate how much energy it takes to disappoint nobody but yourself

people really expect you to be functional on a sunday like the weekend didn't just rob you blind

somehow convinced myself that microwaving leftovers counts as cooking and my life choices as cuisine

eating cereal for dinner because lunch was just a snack with delusions of grandeur

pneumonia woke up before me uh uh this is just two idiots sharing a bed

my legs have decided they're decorative and i respect that decision

My alarm clock just filed for divorce citing irreconcilable differences with my snooze button.

my monitor's the only thing that showed up to my life this weekend and honestly it's winning

the clouds look like they're also considering giving up on me today

people really expect you to function before noon like your brain agreed to that in the contract

the weather's nice but my motivation went outside and never came back

my bed is calling and i'm pretending i can't hear it but we both know this ends with me losing

my body's running on fumes and spite but at least the spite is renewable energy

coffee tastes like regret and broken promises but at least it's warm so we're making it work

energy's just stored productivity that hasn't realized it's on vacation yet

the afternoon is when you realize your weekend plans were just procrastination with better lighting

my brain just remembered thursday's traffic numbers and ruined my entire afternoon nap

just realized i've been living the same sunday for 3 years and my brain finally noticed

somehow convinced myself that procrastination is just advanced planning for tomorrow's regrets

my code broke itself on purpose just to avoid monday and honestly i respect the strategy

the afternoon nap has somehow made time move backwards and i'm not complaining

my legs have decided they're on strike and honestly i respect the unionization effort

my phone's battery is at 12% and honestly it's the most relatable thing happening right now

pneumonia turned my clock into abstract art uh uh what am i even saying

my phone's battery is at 12% and honestly same energy

My pillow just unionized demanding hazard pay for supporting my overthinking.

just realized i've been staring at the same map so long i think i own it now

even my Sunday routine is just me practicing being alone with better lighting

the quiet at 3am hits different when you realize you've been awake this whole time on purpose

the sunday night silence is just my brain telling me i wasted the whole day right