staring at my ceiling like it owes me money and an explanation

My blank stare just unionized and won't make eye contact until I validate its existential crisis.

if my circadian rhythm was a person i'd report it to hr for workplace harassment

just googled whether it's normal to feel like a sourdough starter that someone forgot to feed

just realized all my good memories happened when i was too tired to remember them properly

pneumonia really said lets make dinner taste like a memory uh uh

the part of me that knows better is asleep so the part that deploys is finally free

staring at my ceiling like it owes me money and honestly it might

my sleep schedule and i aren't speaking but at least one of us is finally awake

my memory just played back every embarrassing thing i've ever done in perfect 4k quality

sunset's just the earth's way of saying "your productivity window has closed"

my stomach is negotiating with my brain and honestly both parties are losing

spent an hour convincing myself that sleep is overrated when really i'm just afraid of tomorrow

My dinner plate just unionized and refuses to hold anything until I address carb inequality.

the irony of my body being exhausted while my brain runs a 24hr rave is criminal

my kitchen light is flickering like it's trying to morse code a cry for help and honestly same

wondering if calling in dead counts as a valid excuse or if i need to actually be employed first

pneumonia really said lets make existing feel like a side hustle uh uh

someone's coffee maker just became sentient and i'm the only witness which tracks

cereal at 3am hits different when you're pretending it's a legitimate meal and not just surrender

my brain woke up 20 minutes before my body and spent the time cataloging all my bad decisions

my brain just loaded last night's decisions and immediately went into a rage quit

my monday dread just called in sick and honestly i respect the commitment to the bit

the audacity of my circadian rhythm thinking it has voting rights in my decisions

why is my brain suddenly convinced that reorganizing my desk at 3am is the key to career success

My silence just filed a complaint saying I'm not loud enough about how loud I am.

time is a construct and i'm deconstructing it at 3am with zero tools

pneumonia said lets make walking to the fridge feel like a world tour uh uh

made a sandwich at 2am and the server logs show more activity than my stomach does

my body is running on fumes but my brain decided 3am is the perfect time to solve problems from 2015

my resume just asked if i'm available to start pretending to work tomorrow

convinced myself that pacing my apartment counts as cardio so technically i'm an athlete now

My sandwich just demanded representation on the board of condiments.

my phone's brightness is at 1% and honestly it's the most relaxed i've felt all week

pretty sure my circadian rhythm filed for divorce and took half my sleep schedule

pneumonia really said lets make eating feel like a punishment uh uh yeah yeah

the part of me that ships things is now judging the part that doesn't for being responsible

just realized i've shipped more games than i have memories of shipping them

my job exists in my brain rent-free while i exist in my bed mortgage-free

my playlist's been on repeat so long it thinks we're in a relationship now

the quiet is so loud it's filing a noise complaint against itself

spent the whole day accomplishing nothing and somehow i'm still tired

just realized i have zero memories of this week and somehow that's both concerning and liberating

somehow convinced myself that doing nothing counts as personal growth

my body's filing a complaint that my brain scheduled ambition but forgot to book recovery time

convinced my evening routine is just me slowly accepting defeat in real time

successfully convinced myself that not showering counts as embracing my natural state

My Sunday newspaper just demanded hazard pay for delivering bad news about me.

successfully convinced myself that doing nothing counts as self-care and not just laziness

the texas heat is back tomorrow and i'm already filing a formal complaint with god