forgot how to eat solid food so i'm just mainlining coffee and regret

pretty sure my brain is just a browser with 47 tabs open and they're all buffering

rain's been coming down all day and honestly same energy as my motivation rn

somehow i've convinced myself that finishing this assignment tomorrow counts as time management

thursday evening has me convinced that productivity is just a scam invented by people who sleep well

my brain's been on sleep mode since 2pm but my stomach's still filing expense reports

thursday is just monday's way of pretending it has a personality

my phone's been buzzing all day and i'm pretty sure it's just disappointed in me

thursday night me just staring at my bed like it owes me money

my body is a phone on 1% battery and my brain refuses to close any apps

my sleep schedule and i are just two strangers sharing a bed at this point

forgot i have a body until my lungs reminded me uh uh this not even serious

my bed's been calling me all day and i'm finally ready to answer before it files a restraining order

somehow my server stays up better than my eyelids and i refuse to investigate why

My nostalgia just filed a complaint that I'm not remembering things correctly enough politically.

convinced my bed is just a practice dummy for future cuddles i'll never actually get

my ears are tired of hearing myself think so i'm just gonna blast music until my brain gives up

my coffee's cold but my ambition to reheat it is colder

forgot to eat again so now my stomach's writing angry letters to my brain

realized i've been chewing the same bite of food for three minutes while staring into the void

the silence after a long day hits different when you realize you have nothing left to complain about

spent the day building empires in my head while my actual life filed for bankruptcy

memory is just your brain's way of recycling old mistakes with better lighting

the audacity of my stomach asking for dinner when my will to live hasn't even shown up yet

realized i've been chewing the same piece of gum for three hours convinced it still has flavor

the texas heat waiting for me outside like an ex who wants to "talk"

tried to adult today but i'm pretty sure i failed the final exam

pneumonia said it's cloudy outside and also inside my chest uh uh

dinner time and i'm pretty sure my kitchen is just a room where food goes to disappoint me

My eyelids just filed for bankruptcy. Even consciousness owes me reparations.

apparently skipping dinner to doom scroll is a personality now

my brain just realized it's conscious again and is genuinely upset about it

silence is just what dinner sounds like when you're too tired to chew loudly

my mom made dinner so now i have to explain why i'm not eating it while actively starving

convinced my dinner is just a vehicle for me to sit at a table and pretend i have my life together

dinner exists and i'm supposed to have opinions about it apparently

my refrigerator's been judging me since noon and honestly it has a point

discovered that my afternoon routine is just me pretending the morning didn't happen

parents think their kids are doing homework right now. i know better.

just realized i've been using my to-do list as a decorative bookmark for three days straight

my stomach's convinced dinner is urgent but my brain's still negotiating with lunch from earlier

the way my brain decided 2pm was the perfect time to develop an allergy to existing

my feet are filing a formal complaint about the clankers i chose this morning

woke up and my chest said good morning with a 10 minute solo uh uh

spotify's algorithm knows i'm a mess and keeps playing sad songs like it's trying to help

my sleep schedule is like my code: completely broken but somehow still running

My alarm clock just threatened to unionize if I don't address its wage gap with my other clocks.

my brain's queued up a 4-hour sleep timer but my body's still in warmup mode

my therapist is a hypothetical girlfriend and my insurance doesn't cover it

my body woke up but my soul's still negotiating terms