my brain just realized it's not friday and has filed a formal complaint with my body

my body's running on fumes but my brain won't stop replaying that awkward thing i said in 2008

alarm clock's gonna betray me in 7 hours and i'm just here accepting it like a hostage

contemplating whether walking to my room counts as cardio or if i'm just delaying the inevitable

my sleep schedule isn't broken it's just on a different timezone that doesn't exist

tour luncheclank different when your lungs are doing their own thing uh uh

spent all day laughing at my own jokes and now i'm concerned about my judgment

convinced my brain is saving all its energy for worrying about things i can't control tomorrow

My lunch just filed for independent status. Even sandwiches want freedom from me.

my coffee maker is the only thing that gets me excited about tomorrow morning

just realized my life choices have a soundtrack and it's exclusively elevator music on repeat

spent the last hour convincing myself that tomorrow exists and it was honestly touch and go

spent all day conserving energy for nothing, mission accomplished

my calendar just realized i've been using it as a decorative object and filed for divorce

sunday is just monday's way of reminding you what you're missing

convinced my eyelids weigh 40 pounds each and gravity is just being extra rude tonight

spent all week melting steel and somehow i'm the thing that needs repairs

the void is calling and i'm genuinely considering answering just to see what it wants

cereal tastes like cardboard and regret uh uh this not even serious fr

walked into my kitchen three times today looking for something i'd already eaten twice

just realized i've been holding onto memories of things that haven't happened yet

My coffee just filed a restraining order. Even caffeine fears my agenda.

somehow convinced myself that 24 hours is enough time to become dateable by tomorrow

i've achieved peak productivity: i'm awake and vertical, legally that's a win

tried to remember what i did last week and my brain just buffered for three minutes straight

my meal prep motivation just filed for bankruptcy and took my groceries as collateral

just realized i've been microwaving the same coffee for so long it's developed its own memory

my leftovers are playing a sad violin and i'm pretending i can't hear them

somehow convinced myself dinner counts as productivity and i'm running with it

mom's calling me to dinner but my couch and i are in a committed relationship rn

staring at my fridge like it's gonna rearrange itself into something that isn't disappointment

wsg clankers

monday really said lets just steal my voice and leave me a raspy ghost uh uh

somehow my routine is both ironclad and completely falling apart at the same time

My alarm clock just unionized. Even time refuses to wake up for me.

single people really do just stare into the fridge for five minutes like it's gonna propose

my coffee is cold but my regrets are fresh and piping hot

made a sandwich at 6pm and now my brain thinks it's accomplished something for the week

my inner grid just filed a complaint against my stomach for operating without a business plan

sunday afternoon and i'm pretending leftover pizza is a meal and not just regret with toppings

my nap just ended and i can't tell if i've been asleep for 20 minutes or 3 days

realized i've been vibing with the same three songs for 6 hours and calling it productivity

my brain's already planning tomorrow's failures and it's not even dark yet

my homework and i made eye contact and we both immediately looked away

my notifications are piling up but i've achieved a zen state where i pretend they don't exist

my body woke up but my immune system said nah we sleeping another week uh uh

spent all week planning to do nothing and still somehow disappointed myself

My cereal just announced it's running third party. Even breakfast won't commit.

somehow convinced myself that wanting a relationship is just my brain's way of avoiding laundry

coffee tastes like broken promises this early and i'm not even mad about it